Over the break I met by fiancé’s family for the first time. We stayed at their house for about a week and everything was fine until I mentioned that I’m an atheist. My fiancé’s mom lost her mind.
She kept screaming about how I’d brought Satan into her house and that they would have to move because, “the stains of a Satan loving whore would never come out.” After the big fight, which lasted 2 hours, we went to bed. I thought the worst was over.
That was until I was woken up at 4 am, by his mother. I should clarify that her wake up call was hitting me with a crucifix and dousing me with some “holy water” from an Evian bottle.
Needless to say, I left the house immediately and drove the seven hours back to my apartment. Since then I haven’t spoken to my fiancé. I know it’s not his fault that his mom’s a psycho, but I can’t bring myself to still call him the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Sure he’s great but, think about our engagement, the wedding, the birth of our child. That woman can never come within 100 ft. of me again. It wouldn’t be right to stop him from seeing his mother, but I simply refuse to let that woman in my life. What should I do?
I don’t even know where to start. That woman is absolutely insane and you are completely right to have fled and refuse to ever see her again. But, like you’ve realized, that puts you in a precarious situation with your fiancé.
When it comes to him, not talking will not help. From what you’ve told me, he didn’t do anything wrong. Therefore, cutting off all contact would be a bit drastic. You have to talk to him at some point. He deserves to know where you’re at mentally and what decisions you’re making.
Crazy psycho mother aside, the relationship you two have shared was strong enough that you guys were planning to get married. Sure this even puts a new spin on things, but, between the two of you, nothing has changed. You should still treat him with the same courtesy that you did before.
I simply cannot tell you what to do in this situation, but I can tell you what I would do. I would let him know that I refuse to ever see his mother again. I would let him know that I do not want her at the wedding or to ever meet any of the children we may have. I would give him all the circumstances under which his mother would be allowed in my presences, which would be none.
From there we would talk about what that means for him and his relationship with his mother. We would talk about what that means for our relationship. We would talk about everything and in the end we would make a decision as to how to proceed with the relationship, if at all.
From all that talking understand that this relationship may come to an end. If you are not willing to accept that, then understand that you may have to come in contact with the woman who physically assaulted you because of your lack of religion. If you can somehow diffuse that bomb, then good for you. But, my sneaking suspicion is that tis is a deal breaker and you need to prepare yourself for that possibility.
I am really sorry that you had that happen to you. No one should have to be put in this position. I wish you both the best in whatever may come.